Saturday, March 24, 2007

Mother Nature is so hard to wait on sometimes!!! And it seems that looking back is the only way to make it appear to go faster. That does not seem to be the case in my adventure called IVF!! Big Wedding and Honeymoon creeped up and then flew by and before I knew it we will be married for a year in June. High School and College creeped by and then flew by and I was at my 10 year reunion. Started my career and now I will be celebrating my 10th year with the same hospital on April 14th! Just like a car speeding down the highway WOOSH!! and it was gone and you barely remember the color of the car!!
And so it is with almost all things in life EXCEPT IVF!!!!! If I hear "Call us when you start your period." one more time (which I know I will) I am going to SCREAM!! It is everything in me to not mock them in my most immature whinney voice. Waiting on AF, waiting on drugs to come in, waiting on my calender, waiting for my HCG shot, waiting to see lab results, waiting for Retrieval, waiting on transfer and the GOD AWFUL waiting on the Big ONE!!! THE BETA!
A whole lot of waiting with not much of anything that you could possibly think of in the mean time! With so much at stake who can consentrate! It feels like every cycle gets longer and longer and longer!! Patience has never been a virtue that I have ever possessed. I try but the unknown kills me. I guess that is why I have a case of UPT's in my bathroom. I know we are suppose to stay away from them but I just gotta know! It is like playing the lottery and not looking to see if you won. I had no idea this would be so hard on me. I feel like I am holding my breath and sooner or later I am gonna turn blue. So I break down and POAS! I guess God is going to once and for all teach me patience.
On another note, I can't believe the nerve of some people. We ran into a friend of my hubby and myself at Target today and she is due in July. She was complaining that she can't wear a cute swim suit and summer clothes this year. BooHoo for you!! I would wear a Granny MooMoo dress for 9 mo if it ment I would be pregnant. I know that she doesn't know what we are going through right now, but it struck such a nerve with me and hubby.
I guess that is all I have for now!! I am patiently ( haha, like I have ever done that before) waiting for my WTF? meeting with my RE. I can't wait to see if there is anything they would do differently. Gosh so many what if's that I need answers!!
A

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